Valentine, Galentine or Palentine

It's almost here! The day so many people look forward to each year.. The day of wine and roses. And chocolates galore! The romantic dinner and dancing. The beautiful new outfits. Life just couldn't be better.

It's almost here! The day so many people dread each year. The day of sorrow and sadness.  Memories of happier times and days gone by. Memories of spouses now deceased. Memories of sweet times stolen by dementia. Thoughts and worry of spouses deployed.

Which day is almost here for you? For me, it's somewhere in the middle. Thankfully I haven't lost a spouse to death or dementia, nor is he deployed to another country. He is however absent for the day. Working on assignment hundreds of miles away. SO, he won't be coming through the door with a vase of roses and a box of chocolates.  The best it get's will be a delivering guy from the florist. And that's OK. I'm thankful he has a job. But what will I do while others are out celebrating Valentines? Well I have choices!

Galentines! I just heard this term a few days away. Self explanatory.  Gals, all without a guy for whatever reason, get together and celebrate one another in whatever season of life you are in. Dress up! Go out to dinner. Have a glass of wine. Bring chocolates for everyone. A flower for everyone. Voila! Wonderful memories made with those you care about.

And Palentines?  (I just made that word up). Well it's the same only shared with friends of both genders. Don't leave the guy pals to bring all of the flowers and chocolates either. Pals are equals! Gals do your part.

Now, while there is never anything wrong with planning some fun for ourselves and friends, lets keep in mind those who may be drenched in sadness. In this instance I am referring to the widows. (James 1:27).  Although not all widows are elderly, many are. They find themselves alone after having been blessed with marriage for decades. This can be a time of such sadness. They can even wonder sometimes why they are still here on earth in their advanced age. Honestly many of them would much rather be reunited in Heaven with their beloved.
Although we can never replace their loss, we can help to diminish their sadness, if only for a short time. Most often, it doesn't take a lot to bring joy to an elderly persons life. They have learned to live with less.  Less material things. Less company. Less activity. Most are easily satisfied.

These are some very simple ways to take a widows mind off of the fact that her beloved is no longer with her:

Take her some flowers, or A flower.  Less is more most often.

Chocolates, or sugar free chocolates. Again, a very few is better than the giant box we think we have to have.

Dinner, out OR in. She may or may not even be able to go out anymore. If she is, a restaurant or someones home. If not, bring dinner for the both of you to where she is, and by all means stay a while and visit. Elderly people love to visit and talk about the past.

On a more larger scale, host a number of widows for lunch. If your home isn't large enough, consider renting a venue or host at a church.  Recruit some help with cooking and serving. Teens are great for this. Find a few drivers to pick your guests up for the evening. Have the driver present them with a flower upon arrival and escort them in. Dress up for the occasion. Suits for the chauffeurs. Black pants and white shirts for the waitstaff. Dresses for the hostess. Sandwiches and fruit can keep the menu simple and affordable. Name plates for the tables. Linen clothes and napkins.
Even a 2 hour luncheon will surely brighten these folks day and bring a smile where there may not have been one.

Are you without a sweetheart this Valentines? I'd love to hear how you spent your time in the comments.

Remember to always Be Prepared To Bless.

When Valentines Day Isn't About Being With The One You Love

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching. For many people, especially us ladies, it brings anticipation of all things chocolate, flowers, jewelry and romantic dinners. All of which bring along much fun, joy, laughter, gratification, and elegance. But sadly, not for all.

The Widow. Whether recently widowed or having spent many years alone, Valentine's brings back many sweet memories of years gone by.  Years when these ladies too felt the joy, laughter, fun and elegance which accompanied this day for them as well.

Those days as they remember them may be over, but the fun, laughter and joy certainly doesn't have to be. This year, try thinking of a widow you know. Maybe a family member, a neighbor or someone at church. It would be very easy to drop by their home with a box of candy, a single red rose in a vase, or a card.  If you know this person well enough, invite them out to lunch or dinner. These small gestures could turn sadness into happiness very quickly. No, it won't replace their beloved husband but it surely will bring a ray of sunlight to an otherwise cloudy day.

Try thinking ahead about this time next year. Maybe hosting a Widow's Banquet. Get others involved. Family, friends, Sunday school classes,  homeschool co-ops, or any other group you may be involved in.
Choose a location.  This could be at your home, an assisted living home, or a local banquet room.
Hand deliver invitations.
Plan a light menu with, of course, chocolate covered strawberries.
Dress in your Sunday best, young men with ties, shined shoes and a big smile.
Have music playing quietly in the background, be it live violin,(a chance for a beginner to get some experience) or a classical CD.
Set the table properly, even if you use disposable dinnerware. Clear plastic plates are very nice and you can even get "silver" colored flatware, disposable tablecloth and napkins and a pretty centerpiece. All from the dollar store!
Serve dinner in courses. Three would be plenty. Salad, main and dessert.
At the end of the banquet, present each lady with a flower.  These could be fresh,  imitation or even handmade from tissue paper.  Maybe make treat boxes or another token of remembrance for each lady to take home.
Also, think about transportation. Be prepared to have a few drivers to pick up and return home those who do not drive. Have valet parking for those who drive themselves.
Don't forget escort's.  These ladies deserve to be escorted to their tables on the arm of a finely dressed young man

All of these things can be done in a very elegant way without spending a lot of money and it is guaranteed to lift the spirits and bring a smile to all involved.

Not only will this make for an incredible time for the guest's, it will also offer a time of training for the young people involved. You'll need aspiring chef's, wait staff, interior decorators, event planners, graphic artists for the invitations and as already mentioned, musicians

Make this an annual event.  A time that will be anticipated each year by everyone involved.

So, this Valentine's, and all the one's that lay ahead, Be Prepared To Bless!

Johnna